Posted by: carbonara | December 7, 2009

The twelve days of COP-mas

As much of the world gears up for Christmas, the climate policy world has been building up to its biggest party of the decade in Copenhagen. There are only twelve days remaining to agree a world changing climate deal as the Mr Men fight it out within the fraught confines of Copenhagen’s not-particularly-beautiful ‘Bella Center’. These are the Twelve Days of COP-mas; follow here for daily updates as we count down the days to that fatal COP decision D-day.  Will the final day bring us a comprehensive global climate deal or will we be left with no more than a startled partridge in a dishevelled pear tree, rueing what might have been?

Over the past few days the scene-setting has been hotting up even more quickly than the world’s climate…

Mr Perfect made the exciting decision not to disrupt the first week of talks and instead to reschedule his visit for the final day – timing that befits a leader of possible deal-sealing influence and not merely a passing Nobel peace laureate. This decision could prove crucial and will no doubt make life much easier for the mere mortals attempting to run the security gauntlet and access the conference centre this week.

Meanwhile, Mr Strong apparently got together in secret last week with Mr Grumpy, Little Miss Chatterbox and their other chums from the G77, with the result that they are threatening to walk out of the talks together if the developed nations do not commit to targets in line with their historical responsibility. It is not yet known whether anyone else got a word in at this meeting besides Little Miss Chatterbox but nevertheless the question remains; is this an empty threat for the media or is it real intention?

Last week also saw an outburst from Mr Grumble, who is so grumbly about everything that he always seems to stand in the way of progress even when he’s not at home in his oil-rich desert kingdom. This time he heard about some hacked emails from climate scientists and announced that this casts doubt on the whole point of climate negotiations. Fortunately almost all the other Mr Men dismissed his ramblings as irrelevant and typically obstructionist; perhaps they would listen more if he obeyed his alter-ego who has been amusingly spoofed on youtube.

So the scene is now set for the talks to commence, but only if any of the Parties can get past the registration queues, bomb scares and bemused Danish police in time to sit down and actually negotiate. And of course in the midst of it all is the leader Mr Worry – will these twelve days finally relieve him of his worries or might he be reduced to tears?

Let these much-hyped Twelve Days finally begin…

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