…TWELVE SUCKERS SHIV’RING,
ELEVEN CAMERAS ROLLING…”
…wherever you go, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re talking to, there are at least 11 cameras shooting in the vicinity. And we’re not just talking pop-stars or mega politicians. The multitude of TV crews crawling over the COP seem to be getting increasingly desperate to find something to film. Delegates queueing for coffee, a lonely delegate eating a sandwich, a tired traveller getting on a bus, even a blank wall have all been subjects of keen interest for film crews. Delegates are starting to check over their shoulder in the toilets just to make sure that Danish TV isn’t zooming in for an exclusive. CNN, stuck in the security queue outside the building, were reduced to filming the front door of the conference centre and making up a story about how “scandal had come the very door of COP-15”. Scandal about made-up news, maybe! Some even went as far as interviewing Gwyneth Paltrow. Desperate days.
Many of the Mr Men were quietly busy today as the real work started in the less sexy technical subsidiary bodies. This left the print media almost as desperate for news as their TV counterparts, and as a result we saw the emergence of a new villain as the long-suffering and exceedingly busy host Mr Rush – normally seen careering about all over the place trying to organise his multiude of important visitors – was accused by a newspaper of derailing the talks with his so-called “Danish Text”. Is this informal first draft of a sketched out agreement, angrily received by developing countries, a serious threat or just media hype? Forunately we have 10 more days to find out.
Otherwise many people’s attention was grabbed today by a series of theatrical performances from Mr Topsy-Turvy, chair of the CDM Executive Board. He faced a barrage of questions from people trying to understand his topsy-turvy decisions and policy making, but most of them left more confused than they arrived. He seemed to point a lot of fingers at what red Mr Strong had allegedly been fixing up back at home, so perhaps that will lead to a showdown tomorrow. Mr Topsy-Turvy seems intent on establishing a new mechanism called Problematic CDM (P-CDM for short) but investors are not so sure about all that.
Rich Mr Uppity was strutting around today proudly confident of the decision his legal friends back home had made about the dangers of CO2 to health, even the health of Mr Men. Some say that this may allow Mr Perfect to act more freely when he finally joins the crowd than he may otherwise have done…but Mr Uppity was trying to play that down so only time will tell.
So ended the eleventh day before COPmas…bring on the tenth