TWELVE SUCKERS SHIV’RING,
ELEVEN CAMERAS ROLLING,
…TEN ISLANDS SINKING”
This morning saw a dramatic return to the frontline for Mr Fussy and at least ten of his friends from the Small Island States, even though Little Miss Bossy was strangely not to be seen nor – more noticeably – heard. Pushing the hardest environmental line as usual, Tuvalu, Grenada, Barbados, Solomon Islands, Cook Islands, Marshall Islands, Cape Verde and friends kicked off an enormous fracas over Tuvalu’s proposal for a new strict legally-binding protocol for all nations to sit alongside the existing Kyoto version. This was put forward in June under the UN “6 month” law for new treaty proposals, but today it was launched right back into the focus of the talks. Threatened as they are with the total annihiliation of their countires as they sink beneath the rising waves, Mr Fussy and followers tried and tried but just couldn’t get other important Mr Men to agree with their ideas, notably Mr Strong and Mr Grumble who are probably afraid of committing to something so strict. In the end nobody could agree and so part of the Mr Men process has had to be suspended whilst the sparring parties sit down and discuss the possibility of discussing the proposal before it’s too late.
Once the surprise of the suspension had sunk in, and particularly the fact that for once it’s not Mr Uppity and his rich friends who have caused the problem, the delegates were finally ready to begin again when Mr Nosey showed up right outside the negotiation hall and began to complain loudly about the resistance that Parties had shown to Mr Fussy’s proposal. Passing parties seemed quite rattled by the passion of the onslaught but before long the ever-serious UN security staff – the Blue Trousers, brought in especially from New York to adorn the COP’s catwalks – had restored order and sent Mr Nosey packing. Even Mr Tickle had suffered some blue trouser treatment early in the day, stuck as he was in the ordinary person’s queue because the blue trousered giant would not believe his claims to be an important Chair person. Perhaps the guard was just worried for Mr Tickle’s safety because arms like that were not made for airport security scanners.
Back in the hall itself, anticipation was building for the predicted showdown between Red Mr Strong and Mr Topsy-Turvy. And Mr Strong did not disappoint, releasing a characteristically muscular tirade that certainly left his opponent’s decisions looking really rather topsy-turvy. But as you can see, Mr Topsy-Turvy never lost his cool and somehow still kept his hat and smile intact throughout.
Perhaps Mr Fussy, Little Miss Bossy and co have been discussing late into the night with their opponents. Perhaps tomorrow relative peace will be restored in Mr Men land and the COP suspension can be lifted. Let us soon see.