Posted by: carbonara | December 15, 2009

“On the sixth day til COP-mas, the Mr Men sent to me…

TWELVE SUCKERS SHIV’RING,
ELEVEN CAMERAS ROLLING,
TEN ISLANDS SINKING,
NINE RUMOURS SPREADING,
EIGHT MINISTERS MILLING,
SEVEN SONGS A-SINGING,

SIX HEADS A-HURTING”

As usual Sunday presented an official lull in negotiations and therefore a chance for all important people to have important discussions on how to rescue the negotiations from their current state of fragile peril, and for non-important people to catch their breath and enjoy something of Copenhagen whilst secretly wishing that they themselves were important enough to have important things to do on the COP Sunday rather than contemplate a fatigue- and alcohol-induced headache. For many however, this was the chance to see something of Copenhagen, such as wandering through the once-hippy lanes of Christiania where the open marijuana stalls have gone to special lengths to present their wares more attractively than usual, in an effort to impress the eyes of the world descending for the COP. Their efforts are to be commended as these must surely be the neatest street-side hash stalls in Europe and put other countries to shame; the Danish government must be proud to lead the continent in this way. A good spliff is perhaps just what is needed to unblock the talks, although from some of the debate seen so far observers would be forgiven for thinking that a fair amount was already in use in the Bella Center’s back rooms.  Other delegates were perhaps making good use of the special COP provisions allowed for travel cards, bicycles and, infamously,  prostitution laid on by the welcoming people of København.

Whilst the Bella Center enjoyed relative calm for one day, there was outrage building amongst the NGO observer community over the upcoming “secondary badge” entrance system. Mr Greedy, having already designed a fully functional market system, was dismayed to discover that the UN had introduced trading restrictions on this market by deciding that badges were in fact not transferrable between delegations. The Secretariat was immediately accused of meddling with the market rules in an opaque and unfair manner and was warned in no uncertain terms that such unnecessary market interventions could be very detrimental to the private sector’s continued investment in climate change.  On hearing this news, Mr Nosey immediately accused Mr Greedy of planning to break the UN’s trading rules and engage in market trading anyway. Nobody yet knows if it will be enforced.

As security tightens and tension heightens, the remaining week of COP-15 will no doubt be loaded with surprises of all kinds.

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Responses

  1. Hope the head has stopped hurting.


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